When you imagine your wedding day, it’s quite common to think of all those you love being part of it. Unfortunately, many couples struggle with the loss of a parent or loved one and wonder how they can possibly include that person. By including a lost family member or loved one, it’s almost like having them there with you and it’s extremely comforting.
Before choosing how to honor that person, it’s important to consider a few factors. Firstly, how recently did that person pass away? If the wound is still really fresh, you might want to choose a more subtle tribute as opposed to a moment of silence that will leave you crying tears of sadness rather than tears of joy! You also don’t want to create a melancholy mood on this happy day. It’s also important to remember that grief is a very personal matter, and you should decide whether or not you want to share this with everyone in attendance. If you want to keep it to yourself and pay tribute in your own heart, then consider something subtle like wearing something that belonged to that person. If you are planning a more public tribute, you should advise your family so that they aren’t surprised by this. They are also dealing with their grief, and it’s only polite to consult with them before going ahead with your plans. Finally, don’t forget to think about their personality and choose your tribute accordingly. Think about something that made your bond so strong over the years and pay tribute based on the most memorable moments with that person. With all this in mind, here are some great ways of honoring a lost loved one at your wedding:
Wear something special
This is probably one of the most private and intimate options of all. You can wear something like a ring or earrings if you like. Alternatively, you can even use a piece of fabric from one of their shirts (or another clothing item) to make a ribbon for your bouquet. If you have a brooch but you don’t want to wear it, you can also attach it to your bouquet. Men can add a handkerchief of the deceased to their front pocket if desired.
Use a gift from that person
If you received something special from that person and you can use it as part of your wedding ceremony or during the reception, this is a wonderful tribute. For example, if you were presented with a set of toasting flute glasses, you could use them at your reception.
Program tribute
This is a fairly simple and popular option for many couples. All it requires is that you add a line or two to your ceremony program that honors that person. Something along the lines of “In Loving Memory” will work well.
One candle
You can light a candle for that person and set it in the entrance or beside your wedding cake. Remember that you don’t need to use an actual candle, there are plenty of LED varieties out there that will work just as well without the fire risk.
Photos
You can also add their photo to a special area at the ceremony and/or reception venue. Some couples have taken it a step further by placing photos of all family members on a single table for all to see. Not only does this honor the loved ones that you have lost, but it also creates a bit of a happier theme since it’s more like a family album rather than a memorial.
Make a toast
Include a few words about that person in your toast. If you like, you can even go so far as to serve that person’s favorite drink and ask everyone to raise their glass in their memory.
Wedding favors
Your favors can also be used to represent that person. Think about their favorite treats or pastime. For example, if they loved a particular type of chocolate, you can give each guest some of this chocolate. Similarly, if you are able to include a hobby like playing cards, then feel free to do so as well!
Moment of silence
This is most commonly done during the ceremony and, most often, it takes place at the beginning as a sign of respect and love.
Save a seat
Save one seat for that person. Decorate this seat with a flower or a bouquet of flowers. You might also want to include a note on the chair so that your guests know not to sit here! You can choose to do this for your ceremony and the reception or just one of the two.
When in doubt, always ask a professional. Check out our list of Toronto Wedding Planners at BeWed for the best in the business!
